JUNE 18 — This has been on my mind, and I’ve been wanting to say something about it.
A few weeks ago, I came across in my social media timeline an event organised by a high society magazine, supposedly celebrating Malaysia’s “most inspiring and influential women.”
A quick look at the recipients shows that most are those occupying high corporate positions and public figures — activists, politicians and journalists. Mostly urban, and of course, from a more privileged background.
Sure, it’s a private event set in a swanky, posh hotel befitting the magazine’s profile, and the list of recipients aligns with its readers.
This state of affairs is not new and can even be seen from this year’s International Women’s Day (IWD) — that the women who are worth showcasing, worth celebrating, and worth listening to are those of position, of titles, and of credentials.
Very much emblematic of our meritocratic society. But it also carries a deeper meaning — that somehow this group of individuals is meant to represent the voice and, with that, the struggles of all women.
When Sheryl Sandberg and lawyer/policy analyst Anne-Marie Slaughter wrote about the struggles of women in corporate and government in the US, critics rightfully pointed out how it only focused on a particular group of women — already privileged women in white-collar professional spaces.
Sociologist Tressie McMillan Cottom wrote in her critique, “When we talk about poor people, we tend not to talk about women, and when we talk about women, we tend not to talk about poor people.”
Essentially, as Teo You Yenn, a Singaporean sociologist, wrote in her book This is What Inequality Looks Like, by focusing mostly on a small segment of women (those in corporate careers, urban, and of higher socio-economic background), it obscures the lived realities and challenges of many other women who are not as privileged.
As Teo noted, there is the tendency to universalise the experiences of the upper middle class.
In reality, the concerns of women in white collar professions occupying high-level jobs, e.g., career advancements and opportunities, may not be in tune with the concerns of service workers, stay-at-home moms, women who are caregivers, those who are disabled, and those who are employed informally.
In Malaysia, there are more female teachers and obviously more female nurses. Teachers have long expressed their grievances over their workload, and nurses have been underpaid, which has led many to seek employment elsewhere.
More women in Malaysia are employed in the informal sector, are own-account workers, and are unpaid family workers, and these women are not entitled to or covered by social protection and employment benefits.
Sure, some women have the ambition of being an executive holding a C-suite position, leading an NGO, becoming successful entrepreneurs, or being the first woman to gain recognition in a field dominated by men.
And it is worth noting that many of these women have been able to do it while juggling other roles, including being parents, and getting other recognitions, often made possible by their ability to access help.
What can be quite concerning, however, is the rather hostile narrative that these women sometimes tell: “If you lean in and hustle for it, you will get it.”
I checked out some of the recipients’ social media accounts that were tagged in the magazine’s posts and could see the disconnect that Cottom and Teo alluded to.
I read a post about dismissing work-life balance, how we should not just settle, and how everyone has privileges, so just power on and stay positive.
Contrary to what some may think, this is not about women putting down other women but about underscoring several important messages.
First, accolades, positions, and titles should not be the default measure of what a successful and inspiring woman (or anyone, for that matter) is.
That definition should be extended beyond those who carry the title chief, head, chairman, director, or founder.
Second, even the most privileged women with unlimited resources need support and help to raise children and juggle other responsibilities, what more for those who have fewer resources.
Third, there should be a bigger effort to increase the voice of regular, underprivileged women — for them to speak about the challenges they face on a daily basis and on what could be improved, and not having other, more privileged women speak on their behalf.
It is even more important to acknowledge the woman who decides to have a regular 9-5 job and raise a family, who decides to open a nasi lemak stall, who quits her job to be a stay-at-home mom or care for an elderly or ill family member, or the disabled woman who is just taking it one day at a time, given her condition.
It is only when the collective voices of these everyday women are heard that we can really move forward and address many of the existing challenges and discrimination that women face.
This includes flexible working arrangements, mothers or women who have previously been out of the labour force being denied job interviews, inadequate social protection and assistance, discrimination against OKU or people with disabilities, as well as unaffordable and limited access to childcare and elderly care.
Finally, privilege is an advantage or special treatment that is only accrued to a selected few, not a universal trait like breathing.
Acknowledging privilege is usually difficult, as it suggests that one is not deserving of her achievements.
It is, however, something that should be normalised and should extend beyond being thankful for one’s blessings and sharing them with others.
It is about being forthcoming and acknowledging that arriving at a position of success is not a true meritocratic process but a confluence of effort, good fortune, and inherited privileges.
More importantly, it is also about stepping aside or stepping down and letting others who are less privileged be heard or shine.
Essentially, it is the right thing to do. Paraphrasing Cottom, there is no reason to let those who are produced by elite institutions be the representatives for all.
* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.
