JANUARY 27 — So it’s Chinese New Year season again.
Millions of families look forward to reuniting to usher in another year of good luck.
However, with the Malaysian Highway Authority (LLM)’s expectations of 2.6 million vehicles per day plying the highways, ushering in the New Year of the Snake may feel like a slow crawl instead.
As everyone knows, during non-festive periods, driving from KL to Ipoh takes about two hours; during CNY it could feel like crossing two time zones.
And this final week of January every inter-state road could look as if a million cars just decided to park themselves there like a massive sleeping python.
Many years ago, there was a photo of a guy defecating on the Singapore-Johor causeway — well, at least he was able to let it all out.
Consider those drivers who wait hours to turn into a highway rest-stop between Melaka and Port Dickson, only to realise there’s no parking, no toilet paper, or -- worse — no water.
I'm surprised Kimberly-Clark hasn't released a version of adult diapers called "Highway Emergency".
Of course, there are the usual folks who still believe that leaving the house at 3am makes any kind of difference whatsoever. I recall a friend telling me he left Damansara around that time, hoping to reach Sungai Siput “before lunch”.
I think he meant before lunch “the following day”, because as it turns out he needed nine hours to get there.
Might as well have driven to Hatyai?
And all of the above assumes an accident-free road. The road congestion created by car crashes potentially stretch from Kuala Kangsar to Kota Tinggi.
We’re smack into apocalyptic scenarios: Stop your car, grab your bags, walk carefully and watch out for zombie vipers.
What options do we have?
First, I think it’s a tribute to Malaysians that despite such psychotic jams, many families still make that trip to go home.
In the end, we’re willing to endure staring at the same license plate number for six hours just to hug our parents whom we haven’t seen throughout the year. That’s beautiful.
So maybe this isn’t a "problem" per se; maybe it’s just proof that there’s nothing like family.
Having said that, why don’t more people fly to avoid the crawls (assuming there’s an airport in the hometown city)?
It’s curious why folks who can afford flight tickets during festive seasons still often choose to drive. A friend told me that he values his mobility during CNY, and I think that’s the main reason.
Perhaps another reason is that most Malaysians do a lot of driving back in their hometowns and they just aren’t used to relying on Grab or SOCAR or what-not.
Having said that, there’s no doubt that a huge factor is the cost. The number of family members in a typical household raises the total flight cost to an amount which may ruin the season. So yeah. No choice but to brave the elements and, like the people on board the Mayflower, make that long hard journey across the ocean of tar.
Another good option, of course, is to drive on Day 1 itself. This day is like the eye of the storm in a tornado because everything’s clear and serene; it looks like the Biblical Rapture just happened and every car has been taken up to heaven.
I once drove to Penang on the first day of Hari Raya and the folks in the petrol station were extraordinarily chirpy and cheerful, like they had battled a horde of mutant cobras and survived.
Even the Touch ‘n Go terminals seemed happier.
A final alternative, if your senior family members are up to it, is to fly them in, rather than you flying out. Hey, why not treat your folks to Business Class even? #justathought
In conclusion, try not to drive. But if you do, try to either go way before the big day or the big night. But if you have no choice, then do avoid drinking like a fish or eating bad-ass sambal before.
Gong Xi Fa Cai, everybody. Drive safe.
* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
