KUALA LUMPUR, July 14 — Sometimes, the remedy for tired legs and a bruised ego is simply a bowl of rice with a medley of toppings.
I neither need nor want any semblance of acidity or anything that could be mistaken as refreshing; I do not want my tastebuds teased or tickled.
I want my palate to be blanketed in the richness of animal fat, my arteries to take a clogging and my liver to take the rest of the night off. I do not seek balance; only the glut of salt, fat and starch can comfort me in this state.
![The charming facade in front of the bright orange shipping container where the magic happens. — Picture by Ethan Lau](https://www.malaymail.com/malaymail/uploads/images/2024/07/14/223434.jpg)
Under the cover of some very deliberately cultivated trees stood the answer to my prayers.
The outdoor portion of the retail floor in The ERA residences in Segambut is home to a few food outlets, including a very brightly lit Salad Atelier outpost, a coffee spot and Kawloon Tong Kitchen, the hero of my story that night.
The repurposed shipping container is coloured a shade of orange that can only really be described as Dutch, while the neon sign gives a hint of what to expect: rice, and tong sui, which they were unfortunately out of that night.
![The menu is located right at the counter. — Picture by Ethan Lau](https://www.malaymail.com/malaymail/uploads/images/2024/07/14/223433.jpg)
It’s a one-man show, and the lovely cook, owner, and cashier, Kenny, is apologetic as he informs us to expect a bit of a wait – so you should, too.
I’m here for the three treasures don (RM15.90) with an added onsen tamago. Braised minced pork, “special Chinese jajang” minced pork and diced mushrooms and crispy, fried pork lard form this triple threat.
The braised minced pork carries a strong note of five spice, but it is the “special Chinese jajang” minced pork that is definitely the more savoury of the two. Intended as a version of the mince bean sauce found in zhajiangmian, this gets its saltiness from the fermented bean paste and mushrooms.
![If loving this spoonful is wrong, I don’t want to be right. — Picture by Ethan Lau](https://www.malaymail.com/malaymail/uploads/images/2024/07/14/223432.jpg)
Of course, last but not least, finally upgraded from a lifetime of playing the garnish, the crispy croutons of pure unadulterated lard get a starring role and they do not disappoint.
Unctuous with a satisfyingly greasy crunch, this is the only textural contrast you’re going to get in a bowl of delightfully cloying and mushy multitudes.
Tonight, each spoonful is thankfully free of anything sharp and pickled, so I can really seal myself away – in the soft embrace of lard – from the unkind things I said to myself in the morning.
![The luncheon meat fried rice is really good too – and light. — Picture by Ethan Lau](https://www.malaymail.com/malaymail/uploads/images/2024/07/14/223435.jpg)
Continuing the spiral of comforting gluttony is the luncheon meat fried rice (RM10), though this is so surprisingly light and heartwarming it threatens to snap me out of my funk.
It arrives in its tapau box absolutely steaming with wok hei. Amongst fluffy grains of rice and strands of egg, lay soft, pillowy cubes of everybody’s favourite processed monolith of meat.
I’m usually a fan of getting my luncheon meat on the crispier side, but this texture worked in delivering a lighter experience. Not the kind of salvation I was seeking that night, but a bowl of tasty fried rice is always appreciated.
![If you, like me, park where the visitors do, follow this sign. — Picture by Ethan Lau](https://www.malaymail.com/malaymail/uploads/images/2024/07/14/223437.jpg)
I left as the night was still young, with my belly content and my spirits eager to be plied with lots of spirit.
The combination of pork fat and rice proved too potent, however, and I soon found myself deeply under its spell. Before I could say “fried lard”, I was tucked into bed, all of my own subconscious doing.
Kawloon Tong Kitchen 九龙糖小厨
Kiosk 4, Rain Tree Rain @ The ERA Duta North, 208, Jalan Segambut, Kawasan Perusahaan Segambut, 51200 Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur
Open Monday to Saturday, 12-9.30pm
Tel: 012-202 3189
Facebook: @Kawloon Tong Kitchen 九龙糖小厨
*This is an independent review where the writer paid for the meal.
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