KOTA KINABALU, Dec 24 — Sabah has a high incidence of mixed marriages, which means many families celebrate a variety of festivals together regardless of their beliefs.

Famed for their racial tolerance and love of merry making, Sabahans of diverse faiths often hold open parties during festive seasons like Christmas with their own special blend of cultures and traditions.

For Filzah JamJam, originally from Kelantan, Christmas in Sabah which she now calls home, is when the bonds of friendship deepen as she celebrates the season with a close family friend who treat her and her husband as one of their own.

"It’s a lovely tradition to be able to spend Christmas with their family,’ said Filzah, whose husband is of Sino-Dusun and British descent.

"We all arrive the day before and get to decorate the tree with lights,” added the 30-something year-old architect with one son.

She related that her family friends dress in Christmas-themed outfits for family portraits and have invited hers to join in the fun, and that dinner is one big potluck.

"There’s all kinds of food, anything goes: chicken curry, fried rice, pasta, and a roast duck, with fruit cake always present,” she said.

She added that anything non-halal is placed on another table so as to accommodate the Muslims in the gathering, which include not just her but other members of the extended family.

"They usually have a Christmas movie or music playing, and there’s a gift exchange session too.

"It’s very meriah for us non-Christians,” Filzah said.

She added that on Boxing Day – the day after Christmas – the family friend traditionally prepares vegetarian dishes, "maybe to purge the heaviness from the day before”.

A videographer born to a Muslim father and a Christian mother told Malay Mail that growing up in Keningau with his extended family, he never felt left out of the festive celebrations as the clan always held big gatherings typical of Sabahans, filled with local food, drinks, and karaoke.

When his parents separated, he was raised by his maternal Christian grandmother.

To this day, the 45-year-old who now lives in Penampang said he still looks forward to Christmas for the parties and camaraderie.

"My wife is Sarawakian. Since being married and moving here, she no longer goes to church,” Andy, as he asked to be called by that one name, said.

He said as his wife also has Christian relatives, they alternate celebrating Christmas in Sabah and Sarawak.

"There’s always a tree with presents for the children, Christmas Eve dinner, and if we’re in Penampang, we’ll have a big Christmas Day gathering with my family,” he said.

Festive meals comprise a huge spread of what he considers "standard local dishes” like his mother-in-law’s signature kelupis, a sweet glutinous rice kuih, "but there’s always a good curry”.

"On the 26th, we usually have an even bigger celebration with friends and family, more merry making.

"There’s usually a BBQ, chicken wings, steaks, hot dogs... and whatever my wife and others feel like cooking.

"It’s like a small open house. People can come visit anytime all day, and we just hang out and party, just like in the kampung,” Andy said.

Retirees Datuk Johan Arifin and Datin Fazar Arif who now host on Airbnb in Mesilou, Kundasang, both said they still throw Christmas parties for their staff and guests, though sometimes they hold a more intimate affair with their two adult children.

"My mother was Catholic before she married my father, and both me and my wife come from big families,” Johan said.

"I have five siblings and my wife has nine, with a lot of mixed marriages, so it’s a very multiracial family.”

"It’s so normal to celebrate Christmas in Sabah,” Johan added.

His wife Fazar chipped in, "And besides, who doesn’t love a party?”

"Any excuse to gather, eat good food, and be with family and friends, and there’s also the gift-giving. It’s like everyone’s birthday.”

Both said that in their family, someone usually offers to host the venue while the rest handle the food, drinks, gifts and decorations and clean-up.

"Everyone brings something, toys for all the children, and lots of good food,” Johan said.

He said the Covid-19 pandemic changed the celebrations a bit, but the gatherings have resumed.

He said the Christians in the family and their guests will sing carols, and non-Christians are given the lyrics sheet so they can follow along.

"But by now, everyone knows common songs like Jingle Bells and Silent Night,” he added.

Fazar, who loves to cook, said she even roasts turkeys for the festivity, whether for the family gatherings or for the Airbnb guests.

"There’s generally a Western spread including lamb, roast chicken, roast potatoes, stuffing, and usually, Christmas pudding from Marks and Spencers,” Johan said, laughing.

"We put a Christmas tree in our Airbnb because our workers and guests are Christians,” he explained.

"We also give them Christmas presents. It’s not about religion, but a gesture to appreciate their culture and work.”

"We have such an extended family, and everyone has their own beliefs, but we don’t have barriers,” Fazar said.

"The kids enjoy the presents, the Christmas crackers. It’s just the festivities, without church.”

"We live in a multicultural community and we should celebrate each other’s beliefs,” Johan said.

"Look at the recent video of a decorated ward at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. We’re sure there are Muslim staff too, but they can share in the festivities.”