COMMENTARY, July 30 — Would you like an octopus on your latte?

That’s not really a question we expect to be asked when we order our coffees at the counter. But more and more cafés are resorting to bizzare toppings and ingredients to make their beverages stand out in a competitive market.

At least that’s what we have garnered from spending any amount of time on social media these days.

The aforementioned Octopus Latte seems to be the show stealer, with an entire mollusc, tentacles and all, adorning the rim of the coffee cup.

Then there is the can’t-believe-it-till-you-see-it Century Egg Coffee, which is weirder than it sounds. Unlike the Octopus Latte, it isn’t as simple as plonking a whole century egg on top of your milk coffee.

First the barista will mash up a century egg; this is the base of the drink, which is then topped up with ice cubes, cold milk, coffee and the final flourish of — you guessed it — another century egg.

What would possess someone to create such outlandish concoctions?

Why would one make cilantro latte or oyster espresso? Or add satay paste, pickled cabbage or braised pork to their coffee? Or serve their cappuccino in an emptied out green capsicum?

Is it through a deep love of the unexpected element? Perhaps the barista who came up with the Stinky Tofu Latte is a card carrying member of the Chòu Dòufu Fans Alliance. Or a home hobbyist who decided to marry his private passions of fermentation, soy beans and coffee.

This trend could well be attributed in part to the Slow Food movement. Isn’t one of their pillars to reduce or eliminate food waste?

The café owner who first introduced Spring Onion Coffee at his shop might have had a surplus of said alliums from his farm or home garden.

Why not kill two birds with one stone and sell more coffee and use up all those green onions while they are fresh and verdant... and aromatic?

(Speaking of members of the allium family: Yes, someone already came up with the nefarious concept of garlic coffee... Just google it — or better yet, don’t.)

Some trends are influenced in turn by other trends. We have certainly seen an uptick in murderously spicy foods in recent years, from ultra spicy Korean instant ramyun to talk shows where guests are interviewed while they devour hot wings.

(The higher the Scoville rating, the higher the number of views, I suppose.)

If I weren’t convinced before, Jennifer Lawrence sobbing in pain during her appearance on Hot Ones was all the endorsement I required to abstain from pouring apocalyptic levels of hot sauce on my chicken wings.

Ultimately it makes for entertainment (even if of dubious value) to see others tearing up and enduring very spicy food.

This could well be the raison d’etre for the Spicy Chilli Latte. Jingshi Coffee, a chain based in China’s Jiangxi province, had rolled out the fiery drink earlier this year.

Basically it is a milk coffee (most of these wacky and wild coffees tend to have milk as a balancing component, it seems) infused with fried chili peppers and chili powder.

No word if Jennifer Lawrence has tried it yet but I, for one, am unlikely to sample a beverage comprising caffeine, dairy and capsaicin — three ingredients that might send one running to the loo in a hurry.

At the end of the day, this worrying trend boils down to an increasingly saturated market; it’s a challenge to attract eyeballs. To stay competitive, some café owners and coffee shop chains will resort to bouncy tentacles and preserved eggs to draw attention.

Who could blame them, really?

And while some netizens might criticise such antics as gruesome or short-sighted, if it helps these F&B establishments stay afloat in trying times, what’s the harm?

After all, you can’t lead a horse to water: if the customers are willing to fork over their hard-earned cash (or their parents’ in some cases) for a viral reel to post on their feeds, it’s their prerogative.

Come to think of it: Are any of these drinks even tasty?

Beyond their Insta-friendliness, the jury is out on this matter (though if one asks Taiwanese singer Jolin Tsai about the infamous Century Egg Coffee, her expression upon trying the beverage tells us all we need to know).

Is there one viral coffee I would actually be willing to try?

Surprisingly the answer is Yes. I happen to consider the Youtiao Affogato to be an ingenious pairing... or trio of ingredients, to be precise.

An intense shot of freshly pulled espresso; a couple scoops of vanilla ice cream; and a twin-stick of crunchy, deep-fried crullers, waiting to be torn apart and dipped into the resultant cold, milky coffee.

It’s magic waiting to happen.

One day someone will come up with another viral coffee idea customers might actually return for. But till then — it’s time to feed our social feeds!